Abrabanel: Musings on the Jewish condition

For a few seconds while reading that Ban Ki-Moon in a report to the Security Council formally called for dismantling nongovernmental Lebanese militias, we were delighted. Following on the heels of a similar statement by the German Free Democratic Party’s Dirk Niebel, it boded well for a general trend – perhaps a new international willingness to challenge the organization that is quickly destroying Lebanese freedom and prosperity from the inside.

Ban even called Hizbullah “a fundamental challenge to the government’s attempts to consolidate the sovereignty and authority of the Lebanese state.” That is, at least, until it disarmed.

But then we read farther down:

Ban, in his report, said in addition to establishing diplomatic relations, Lebanon and Syria must also take concrete steps to implement other agreements reached during these meetings, including “joint activity to improve security arrangements along that border.”

And:

In the report, Ban called on Lebanese parties to immediately halt all efforts to acquire and build paramilitary capabilities.

That’s when we realized: this report isn’t a new realization, but a fig-leaf for the UN’s total helplessness. All parties should immediately stop building up their strength? That’s not just stupid, it’s unnatural. And a pointless statement when there isn’t a damn thing anyone is planning on doing to enforce it.

Not for robbing a bag of chickpeas, mind you. No, the Lebanese government and the country’s industrialists association are planning to sue Israel for stealing the food itself, the recipe.

The Jerusalem Post brings an AP report:

A Lebanese official says his country is preparing to file an international lawsuit against Israel for claiming ownership of traditional dishes it believes were originally Lebanese.

The president of the Lebanese Industrialists Association, Fadi Abboud, accuses Israel of “stealing” its northern neighbor’s cuisine by marketing dishes such as hummus – found across the Middle East – as its own.

Abboud says that while Lebanon is partly to blame because it has never registered its main food trademarks, Israel’s adoption of these dishes causes it major losses.

One Israeli Arab hummus purveyor in Ramle even told the Post:

“It is the right thing to do. The Israeli people are taking a product that does not officially belong to them. It originates among the Palestinian, Syrian and Lebanese people,” he said.

The Post did a poor job giving the Jewish side of the story. They quote a food writer saying “people use the ingredients available in their area.” The food writer then admits that “the Arabs made it long before there was Israel. … It’s for sure not a Jewish invention.”

Come again? 60% of Israeli Jewish blood comes from the Arab and Muslim world, particularly Iraq, Morocco, Yemen and Egypt. Israeli Jews have sabih from Yemen and kubeh from Iraq – and they are their indigenous foods. These Jews have been Middle Eastern – or at least Iraqi, Moroccan, etc. – longer than the Arabs themselves.

Granted we prefer the Lebanese version of the ubiquitous dish – every Israeli supermarket carries “Lebanese hummus” alongside other varieties – but we’ve been dipping Jewish kubeh in Iraqi hummus since before there was an Iraq.

Of course, this isn’t actually about hummus. This is about denying Israelis a legitimate stake in the region, this time by denying the authenticity of Israel’s hummus-centered cuisine.

Maybe we should be demanding royalties for, oh, monotheism.